It truly is the thought that counts.
Posted by Michelle on December 30th, 2010 . Filed under: Birthday, Doodlebug, Gift Packaging, It's in the Bag!, Papertrey Ink, Personal .As we’re nearing the end of another year, I’m starting to read and hear about peoples’ New Year’s resolutions. Do you have any? I don’t really. I think I make the same one every year: to lose weight. It’s more of a lifelong resolution than one for the new year {sigh}
As I was making this little gifty for someone’s birthday, I thought it might be a good time to get up on my soapbox and encourage you all to send more cards and little somethings this year. Remember more birthdays. And don’t forget to send out thank-you cards. E-mail is not meant for thank-yous and birthday wishes! I think sometimes we hesitate in sending a little something to someone because it’s just that: a little something. But isn’t a little something better than nothing? I mean who doesn’t like to get real mail? There’s something about that little something that tells you that someone was thinking about you – and that’s a beautiful feeling.
My father and I were estranged when he died 5 years ago. After years of writing him and calling him and getting no response, I finally gave up. I decided that it was hurting me more the more I tried than it was just getting nothing without the trying. And now that he’s gone, I have to say that there is nothing worse than not getting to say goodbye, and having all sorts of questions that will never be answered. Not only did he never get to meet my children or they him, but he didn’t even know that I had children. How sad. I remember talking to my aunt after my father died and being so angry and asking her why did he never contact me, why was he so distant, why didn’t he ever write me or call me or show any interest in me? And her answer was: he was embarrassed that he didn’t have much to offer me and that he couldn’t send me anything. To be honest, that pisses me off to this day. Don’t people understand that it’s the thought that counts? I didn’t need him to send me money or presents or anything fancy – just a few words on a piece of paper to let me know that he was thinking about me, or hearing his voice on the end of the telephone line, would have stuck with me forever…instead of what is stuck with me now which is a lot of hurt and resentment among other things. I find myself trying so hard to hear his voice in my head…a voice that I haven’t heard in over 20 years – a voice that I will never hear again in this lifetime. Alright…wiping my tears….
My point in telling you all this is because I don’t want anyone to ever think that what you have to offer is not enough – because what you have to offer is more than enough: it’s yourself, and you are the only person who can give that precious gift.
So here’s just a little something that I sent off as a birthday gift. A little Ghirardelli candy bar with a coordinating little brown sack from my shoppe. It didn’t cost me a million dollars, but I suspect when the person gets it in their mailbox it’ll bring a smile to their face: mission accomplished.
December 30th, 2010 at 9:54 am
you’re so right, and i’m guilty of this very thing…afraid that it won’t be enough, when i am grateful for even the smallest gesture, thanks for the reminder <3
December 30th, 2010 at 11:57 am
I cried when I read your post today, You definitely hit it right on, So more cards and goodies for me to send this coming year. I know I like getting things in the mail, why do I think what I have to offer is not good enough. No more of that.
Thanks, I feel better now.
Babe
December 30th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
You are so right, Michelle. I am guilty of the same devaluing, and you’ve caused me to look at it differently. Thanks! And … Great.little something! I love the designs on the bar and the card!
December 30th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Beautiful words and you are right it will bring a smile to someones face….. by any chance did you send that to North Carolina 🙂 Happy New Year!!
December 30th, 2010 at 1:14 pm
What a heartfelt post today. Your gift is adorable and I really love how you have decorated the brown paper sack. Happy New Year.
December 30th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Thank you so much for sharing this Michelle – you’re so right and it’s it good to have a reminder of what’s really important at the start of the new year. Your gift is adorable and I’m sure it brought a big smile to the recipient!
December 30th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
UGH! You got me! Why do I think what I have to offer is not good enough.NO MORE! I will send my best this year! Little cards and somethin somethin…You are always blessing me with your wisdom! I cried when I read your post today, the same is going on with my hubby’s dad. I actually send cards for every holiday and birthday to him, he only lives about 2 hours away, but no response. I actually decided just Christmas to not send him one this year…but I say BULL CORN! I am putting it in the mail! Thanks so much for your encouraging words! I hope you and your family have a wonderful Happy New Year!!!
December 30th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Whew, what a heartwrenching post for you. I’m glad you wrote it – you will touch a lot of people. So sorry about your dad – I can’t imagine how tough that was & still is to go through. I am also guilty of not giving small things to others sometimes because I think it’s not good enough or they won’t like it. Your little gifts come with a big heart. Your awesome detailed crafting shows the love & attention you put into all of your gifts. You go, girl!
December 30th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Well, chocolate always brings a smile to my face. 🙂 Of course, so does “real” mail, too. You know, it’s too bad that we waste time thinking about whether or not what we have to give is “enough”. It’s relationships that make life worthwhile and to forsake a relationship for lack of stuff or wealth or whatever is just a shame. Sorry you and your dad didn’t get a chance to reconcile, but by being open to telling your story I’m sure you’re encouraging others to continue (or begin) efforts to make amends with others in their own lives. Yay for you!
December 30th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Thank you for this. I hope it helps to change the heart of even one person. My mom passed away in October. My sister didn’t come to her funeral and my brother… who did… hadn’t called or had any contact with her in 4 years. My dh and I took care of her (she lived with us) for the last 5 years of her life. I kept trying to make them understand in those last few months how sick she was to no avail. It never has to be much… just that thought. Knowing they are there and they do care. I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you have experienced because your dad didn’t realize he could reach out to you and you’d be there.
December 30th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
My daughter (21yo) and I were talking about making cards and the thought behind them. It’s similar to a prayer shawl in that you have the person on your mind and in your heart as you cut and stamp and glue. I know that the cards I’ve sent – even those with just a line jotted inside – have been received with warmth and gratitude. I think the person feels the love behind the card.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you were never able to resolve the hurt between you and your dad. And BTW, the card and bag are adorable.
December 31st, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Way cute!!!!! I just love all the color!!!! Thanks for sharing your story!! You are so right!
December 31st, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Thank you for sharing your touching personal story. My heart goes out to you! I bet each of us can take something away from your experience and apply it to our own lives. It is truly the thought that counts! Hugs~Anita
December 31st, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Well said, Michelle. Thank you for sharing.
January 1st, 2011 at 2:05 pm
(((((((hugs))))))) sweet michelle♥
January 2nd, 2011 at 7:28 pm
You are super generous and kind and giving, and I have been the beneficiary of that kindness. And this year I need to follow your example more. 🙂