7 GOALS FOR 2019 – WEEK 11 OF 52

Posted by Michelle on March 18th, 2019

A little late, but I am here.

I’m doing it a little different this week and only going to talk about my big 100-pound goal.

I have been up and down playing with the same 12-15 pounds since the beginning of the year. I’ll do good for a couple of days and then someone will bring donuts in to the office and that starts me on a path to destruction. Have a donut and then think well, since I already messed this day up, I might as well keep eating more crap for lunch … and snack … and snack … and then dinner … and then dessert.

But something happened last week, a couple of things actually, that sort of smacked me in the face and woke my ass up. I mentioned before that I have a jacked-up knee and have been hobbling around on a cane. Lugging my fat ass around on a cane. I feel like I’m dragging myself around. Like I’m pulling a rhinoceros around with me everywhere I go. I have had the 3-week Synvisc injections and they did nothing. And then a Cortisone injection that did nothing either. I am in so much pain. There is literally no medication I can take during the day that helps, so I just suffer. And then in the evenings, I do have narcotics that help, but then they wear off and I can’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping. Sometimes I’m up between 2-5 hours in the middle of the night. And then I’m falling asleep at the office. And that’s not good.

So, I went back to my orthopedic doc and he said, “let’s get an MRI, because if you have a tear, we can just go in arthroscopically and clean it up.” Great. So, I went and had the MRI and then the doctor called me back and told me that I have not one, but two meniscus tears in my knee – one on the outside and one on the inside – and that one of them is flipped which makes it more painful. I was glad that they found something and that I can finally get something done about this. So, he referred me to the surgeon.

I met with the surgeon on Wednesday and I’m going in to this appointment all ready to book a surgery and get on with my life. He goes over the MRI results with me blah blah blah tear blah blah blah tear blah blah blah flipped. And I’m thinking yeah, yeah, just get me on the calendar for a surgery, so I can get out of here. And then he says “if it were just that I could go in arthroscopically and …. “ and I don’t remember what the hell else he said after that. He said that there is more to the MRI report. Blah blah blah end stage arthritis, blah blah cartilage something. And that if he goes in to clean up the meniscus tears, that will take out what little cushion I still have there and make it worse for me because of the other blah blah stuff.

He tells me I need a new knee. And I am too fat to get one. And too young. But if I weren’t so fat, a case could be made for me to get one at my young age. I started bawling. I. Was. Crushed. Like I really have to suffer with this until I get weight off. And I don’t even know how much weight I need to get off before they would consider me for it. He wants to refer me to some lifestyle bullshit team of a dietician and a psychologist. Because I must be crazy with the way I eat? LOL

Well, I already see a counselor, so, yeah. And I know what to eat and what not to eat – I just don’t do it. (Consistently anyway.) So, I cried all the way back to work. And then throughout the day got all teary. I just can’t imagine living with this pain and this cane forever. And I happened to have an appointment with my counselor that night, so that was good timing.

And then Thursday morning I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. I see her because I had Thyroid Cancer and they have to monitor me for recurrence and also adjust my drugs (like when my weight goes up and down). And a bonus (sarcasm) she checks my blood sugar (A1C) too. Well, that’s gone up 2 whole points since I was there 9 months ago. And so has my weight. I thought the number may go up, but I didn’t think it would go up that much. I told her about my knee stuff – she mentioned that those injections would make the A1C number go up for sure, but also, with that high of a number they wouldn’t touch me for a knee replacement. And the hits just keep on comin’….

So, I went back the office that day – crying some more – and was like I have got to get serious. This is like the first time in my life that I can’t do something (get a knee) because of my weight. And I am in pain because of it. I broke out my journal and started writing down everything that goes in to my mouth. Powerade Zero, Lifesavers, every. single. thing.  And my approach has been to cut out the carbs. I am not counting or measuring, just eye-balling portion control, and getting the processed foods and the carbs out of my mouth as much as possible.

And since Thursday morning I have lost 7.2 pounds. Blah blah water weight or whatever, but instant results help. And I feel like I can do this. I mean, I have to. I’m not tryna be old and fat in a Hoveround if I can do something about it.

So that’s where I’m at this week.
Just focused on that one goal.
But I’ll be back next week with an update on the rest of my goals.

TTFN!

7 GOALS FOR 2019 – WEEK 10 OF 52

Posted by Michelle on March 11th, 2019

 

Hey hey, I’m back today with an update on my goals for the year.

So let’s get right to it, shall we?

 

1 – Lose 100 pounds.

 

My weight was all over the place this week.  And I was * mostly * good.  Annoying.  I have been having trouble sleeping lately – one night I was up literally all night.  I was up 4 hours in the middle of the night another night.  And the rest of the week I was up a couple of hours after I went to sleep and was awake for another couple of hours.  Could this have something to do with it?  I dunno.  Also, I hurt my knee at the end of November and have been hobbling around on a cane since then while they tried a couple different injection medications + pain pills.  And I’ve noticed that when I get on the scale, because of the knee pain, I am not standing straight – I am wobbling.  Maybe that is contributing to the number perhaps not being correct?  I’m really not sure.  But I have a doctor appointment this week, so we’ll see what the scale shows there.  Either way, it’s March and I’ve got a shit ton of a ways to go if I am going to hit this goal.

Only 87.4 pounds to go!

 

2 – Read 4 books.

 

I was in need of a bookmark and was able to pick one up at church this week while I am still reading book #2 In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume.

1 down, 3 to go!

 

3 – Canning.

 

 

4 – Bake a pie from scratch.

See #3.

 

5 – Save $1000 cash.

 

With medical expenses and just booking a trip for next year that will need monthly payments made, this just isn’t going to happen.  I’m crossing it off the list and maybe if circumstances change we’ll revisit.  But no need feeling like a failure every week, KWIM?

Only $878 to go!

 

6 – Self-care.

 

Last week I shared my super cool new Vans and needing to return them because they hurt my feet.  I returned them, and used the money to buy some super nice wrapping paper.  Wrapping is my jam.  I love sitting and wrapping presents and being creative with a tag or a handmade bow.  And I like to use nice wrapping paper.  So I placed an order at Papyrus – and can’t wait for it to get here!  I watched – and finished – the latest season of the Great British Bake Off, and then powered through – and finished – the latest season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Just chillin’ and not stressin’ is a good thing.  I like to cook, but don’t do it much because I work 6 days a week.  But decided that would be my day-off project: chicken pozole and Mexican jello.  The family was pleased with both …. and that pleased me.

 

7 – Do something with the blog.

Still here, being accountable, and keeping my goals top-of-mind.

 

I’ll catch you here next Monday with this week’s update.

TTFN!

7 GOALS FOR 2019 – WEEK 9 OF 52

Posted by Michelle on March 4th, 2019

 

Hey hey, I’m back today with an update on my goals for the year.

So let’s get right to it, shall we?

 

1 – Lose 100 pounds.

I did my weekly weigh-in and I’m not really sure the scale is correct.  I ate better this week than last week, but, however, I still ate a lot of junk.  I got off the scale, and then got back on, and it went even lower!  So, I guess I’m going with the first number, which means the number is moving, again – in the right direction.

Only 84.4 pounds to go!

 

2 – Read 4 books.

Read a little bit more – and really enjoying – book #2 In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume.

1 down, 3 to go!

 

3 – Canning.

 

Doing some more research and bookmarked these adorable jars for a really good price.

 

4 – Bake a pie from scratch.

Not yet …..

 

5 – Save $1000 cash.

 

 

With medical expenses and just booking a trip for next year that will need monthly payments made, this just isn’t going to happen.  I’m crossing it off the list and maybe if circumstances change we’ll revisit.  But no need feeling like a failure every week, KWIM?

Only $878 to go!

 

6 – Self-care.

 

I spent my one day off working on Easter cards, Christmas crafting, and enjoying the Frank Sinatra station on my Amazon Alexa.  I am new to Grey’s Anatomy, and started watching season one on Netflix late last year and I finished through season 14 this weekend.  Now I need to wait for the current season to come out, watch it, and then be current with season 16.  Because I was done with that, I started the most recent season of the Great British Bake Off.  I did my nails again too – 3 weeks running!  I bought myself some super cool new Vans – but had to return them because they were soooo uncomfortable.  And I took a Saturday afternoon nap with my pupper.  And last but not least, I indulged in a guilty pleasure: keeping up with the Kardashians and their latest cheating drama.

 

7 – Do something with the blog.

I am still here; blogging is keeping me on track to my goals.

 

I’ll catch you here next Monday with this week’s update.

TTFN!

7 GOALS FOR 2019 – WEEK 8 OF 52

Posted by Michelle on February 25th, 2019

 

Hey hey, I’m back today with an update on my goals for the year.

So let’s get right to it, shall we?

 

1 – Lose 100 pounds.

 

 

I’m giving myself a pass for the week.  I had surgery on Thursday, there was some stress eating prior to, and then while being off work I ate like an asshole.  Getting my act together is the name of the game this week.

Only 88.2 pounds to go!

 

2 – Read 4 books.

Not much reading this week, but still working on book #2 In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume.

1 down, 3 to go!

 

3 – Canning.

Nothing to report this week.

 

4 – Bake a pie from scratch.

This will happen. It will. But I need to get goal #1 moving before I can think about this again.

 

5 – Save $1000 cash.

 

 

With medical expenses and just booking a trip for next year that will need monthly payments made, this just isn’t going to happen.  I’m crossing it off the list and maybe if circumstances change we’ll revisit.  But no need feeling like a failure every week, KWIM?

Only $878 to go!

 

6 – Self-care.

Last Monday was a holiday, and after working 8 days straight, I needed it. I was so productive that day, and it. felt. good. My husband made me my favorite Cream of Wheat with chocolate chips for breakfast. And then we had a family clean-up-the-pantry party. I cleaned up my craftroom and wrapped birthday presents for my daughter. I wrote a letter to my aunt. I read the Pioneer Woman magazine. I took some care packages to a friend, and to my mother. We went out for family lunch, followed by a trip to the dollar store. I watched some Grey’s Anatomy, and then with the family we watched NCIS, and then just my husband and I watched This is Us. I was exhausted by the end of that day, but it felt so good to have a day off like that.
I also colored my hair, painted my nails this flashy blue color called Just Dance, and did a nice, milky mask.

 

7 – Do something with the blog.

Honestly, I almost didn’t show up today. I don’t know if anyone is here, but doing this keeps me accountable towards my goals. And not having much movement in the fat department, I wanted to not post. But I did it. And I’m motivated to keep on keepin’ on.

 

I’ll catch you here next Monday with this week’s update.

TTFN!

7 GOALS FOR 2019 – WEEK 7 OF 52

Posted by Michelle on February 18th, 2019

 

Hey hey, I’m back today with an update on my goals for the year.

So let’s get right to it, shall we?

 

 

1 – Lose 100 pounds.  

 

 

Last week I said I wanted to enjoy Valentine’s Day.  And I did:  the day before, the day of, and the day after.  No movement to report for the week.  However this week I’m having vocal cord surgery and I’m thinking that a few days of pudding and jello (I’ll be sure to get the low-cal/low-sugar stuff) might help the number move.

Only 88.2 pounds to go!

 

2 – Read 4 books.  

Still working on book #2 In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume.

1 down, 3 to go!

 

3 – Canning.  

Nothing to report this week.

 

4 – Bake a pie from scratch. 

I was planning to make a peppermint pudding pie with a chocolate crust for Valentine’s Day.  But my aunt works at a bakery and brought us over a bunch of sweets, plus we had one of those store-bought cheesecakes with all the different flavored slices.  So adding the pie would have been too much.  Maybe I’ll make it for Easter?  Or Fat Tuesday, maybe.  I’ve got all the supplies, just need the occasion to. 

 

5 – Save $1000 cash.  

No new savings to report.  Though I did find this cute little handmade bag that I picked up in Mexico years ago and I am using it to keep the cash in.

Only $878 to go!

 

6 – Self-care. 

I got annoyed with my hair and cut my bangs one morning before work.  It’s given me a completely new look and I kinda love it right now.  I had a lovely Valentine dinner with my fam + mother came over; gifts, dinner, desserts.  I painted my nails for the first time in 2+ years.  Because I work 6 days a week I haven’t been able to get to church as often as I’d like, so I started subscribing to the daily readings email and have been enjoying that at the start of my days.  I enjoyed my favorite unsweetened iced tea (with 5 Splenda) from Sonic on the way to work 3 times this week. 

 

7 – Do something with the blog. 

Hello, again ….

 

I’ll catch you here next Monday with this week’s update.

TTFN!